Funny, charming, witty, handsome as fuck, great kisser, bottom…

Man in Belfast, Northern Ireland, UK

... "_’••’_". 2 hours ago

Joined: 3 months ago
Last on: online now!

It’s all a virtual phallacy

Aren’t we all supposed to be discreet… I think it should go without saying. (Equally there is possibly an over use of the words like, “hot” and “athletic”.)

Decent shaped, stocky, dadbod (I know, these things are in the eye of the beholder.)

If anything, I’m bottom (oh, and I’m kind).

I could be talked out of bottoming, if you’re delicious. Many things can make you delicious.

Returned to this after a short break. Still a condom user, “if it goes there”, as they say (that is, you’re wearing one if you want to ride me).

What makes a good opening message?

- Too direct: I alarm people.

- Too polite: I sound dull/needy.

- Too much detail: I’m a “talker”.

- Too little detail: I’m illiterate.

- Too many verifications: I’m a “hoor”.

- Too few/no verifications, I’m a “time waster”.

- Too kind: I’m looking a relationship.

- Too harsh (humour is lost): I’m “rude”.

Recognise any of those?

Anyhow, it seems I literally can’t get a ride, even in this virtual whorehouse hahaha

Just to clarify:

(1) I’m not paying for sex, massage or your pics.

(2) Im older, not desperate.

(3) Size doesn’t matter, but your attitude does.

(4) Hosting is up for discussion.

It’s funny, I log in from the same location everyday and expect something or someone different to appear. According to a large number of inspirational mugs, posters and internet gifs, Einstein said, ‘Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.’ But, according to google, Rita Mae Brown was the author of that quote. Regardless, a link between repetition and insanity can be traced back to the 19th century.

My new thing is to block profiles who aren’t looking men of my age. Not because I’m bitter, more because they don’t want me showing up in their view tracks, nor do I want them to think I was desperate or trying to get them to change their mind, by turning up in theirs. Plus, it means that my ‘who’s nearby’ searches will only have people that are potentially interested in riding me. You should block me if I’m not what you’re looking for.

After much reflection, I think I’ve worked it out, I’d rather be fucked than invest a whole lot of energy in blowing you. I’d sooner have a fry, over receiving a blow job (that’s not entirely true haha).

The Decline of Conversational Standards - a long read. All views my own except where otherwise credited.

What is it with the modern obsession of messaging and then instantly going offline?

I think it is a consequence of living in this technological age. Our concentration span appears to have reduced. Our capacity for attention under assault by an over abundance of choice. Our overall/general sense of satisfaction with life is down, and that trend is deepening. Living in the era of *instant gratification (credit: vogelsong) we have been (mid)sold the idea that we can have it all ‘right now’! But that is not without cost: the decline of conversational standards on sites such as this.

For me the killer is the ‘hit and run’ message.

Only 10 years ago (it’s currently October 2024 as I type this), we called people, we said “hello”, but more importantly we said “goodbye”, “cheerio”, “chat later”, etc. Now there is the ubiquitous “Hi” or “Hey” and not another word in the message. It’s nearly the equivalent of the spam email that we all hate so much. There’s also the speculative, “How’s you”. This one clearly drives many men on here up the walls, to the extent that they put it in their profile descriptions that messages should open with more than “Hi” and, they state in their descriptions “I’m good, thanks”, so don’t waste your or my time asking. I understand that frustration, if I don’t entirely feel it’s justified.

That kind of blunt approach, “I’m just being straight”, can read like arrogance. Of course that’s the other major thing, messages are devoid of tone, texture or nuance. We receive the message where we are at, which may be a million miles away from where the sender was when they sent it.

And no, the irony is not lost on me that there is an arrogance in me taking the time to preach on this subject.

The “hi” on its own can be an indicator of low self-esteem, maybe even a temerity, which could, if read right, be endearing. *Or maybe people have been conditioned not to invest time and effort in a message of any real length; on the good chance it'll be ignored with no response or, worse again, not even opened (*credit derrydl). It could also be a misplaced or an elevated sense of self-esteem where someone thinks they’re so “hot” that they say it in their profile headlines. It can read like you should be grateful that they’ve deigned to message you. Although it’s probably more so that many of us feel we might be trying to punch above our weight. On a site like this where there is an abundance of choice, we don’t want to risk sounding too keen, we might actually be messaging half a dozen ‘hi’s’ in the hope of getting one reply, like it’s some mass market field testing. Plus, we are under time pressures, for most of us this is a ‘side hustle’, real life is with the wife, children, husband, partner or parents and friends - being on here is our alter-ego or dirty little secret.

However, it is the signing off without a word of warning that bothers me. Maybe it’s my age. I once called someone back on the phone 30 years ago when they simply hung up without bidding goodbye, and it had been a pleasant phone call up to then, to say, “We are not living in an episode of Dallas or Dynasty. In real life we say ‘cheerio’ to indicate the call is coming to an end”.

So lads, if you’re chatting and you’re under a bit of time pressure, and you’re heading offline for an hour, afternoon or week, and you’ve just asked me, “would you be up for meeting sometime”, please send a quick message to say you’re heading on. “Chat later” is a decent holding position.

Dickd

57 years old, Bisexual

5'7" 170cm
Average
Non smoker
Social drinker
No tattoos
No piercings
Size: Pretty Big
Role: Bottom
Caucasian (white)

Looking For

Men
Aged from 18 to 99
Will meet smokers

Meeting

Cannot accommodate
Can travel

Interests

1 on 1, Anal, Kissing, Older guys, Safe sex

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